A couple of mornings ago I didn’t have ready access to my computer, so I did a quick check of cable news to see if I was missing anything. MSNBC was covering General Motors covering up deadly auto defects. That made sense, though it was in my morning paper. Fox News was showing live coverage of yet another moronic Republican Benghazi hearing. Really? And CNN was covering the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370. Of course.
After all, just a day earlier, I had noted the following on Facebook: Flight MH370 disappeared 25 days ago, and 239 people were “lost.” Since then, more than 500 U.S. veterans have been “lost” to suicide, more than 600 Americans have been “lost” to drunk drivers, more than 1,600 Americans have been “lost” to deaths involving firearms, more than 26,000 Americans have been “lost” to tobacco-related illnesses, and more than 700,000 of the world’s children under the age of 5 have been “lost” to preventable diseases.
“Guess which of those CNN — which I think we can officially dub “the ‘Lost‘ network” — had spent an entire abysmal program (“The Lead”) discussing, until they regretfully had to cut away to live coverage of Obama’s speech?” I asked. “But don’t worry, the network will devote a few hours of ‘special programming’ to the plane tonight.”
This morning, I repeated my exercise of a couple of days ago. MSNBC was covering a new federal jobs report. Fox News was discussing “the dangers of walking while texting,” complete with a doctor to tell us about the bad things that can happen to you if you walk in front of a car — and some truly weird speculation about how people might have been injured by falling ice if they had happened to be texting when it fell. Apparently no Benghazi hearing or Congressional attempt to eliminate Obamacare was available.
Oh, and CNN was covering … the missing plane. Frankly, I think the plane was escorted to the bottom of the ocean by mermaids. But don’t tell CNN I said so; Jake Tapper will want to interview me about it on the air.